.:You only said goodbye with words, I died a hundred times:.

Moving thoughts:

I'm about to clean out the refrigerator of my former residence.
Air conditioning (or at least the ability to even control your own air conditioning) is a modern luxury I am taking advantage of.
I'm hungry.
Storage space will never be seen as just a necessity. It is a requirement.

Back to work.

.:If it's ever gonna get any better, it's gotta get worse for a day:.

Things have been going extremely well for me lately. My last night of working at Starbucks is next Sunday, and I've already started working for my new job, which I think I will really, really love. Soon, I will be moving, too. There are all kinds of really great things going on in my life, lots of positive changes, and I'm greatly anticipating what all of this may bring.


For Lent, I gave up using my credit card. It was weird to say that, but I decided that it was something I needed to do. I found myself relying on that thing so much that it was stressing me out, so I figured, if there was one thing to give up this year, it would be that. I had never actually given anything up for Lent, not seriously anyway, but this time, I stuck to my guns. I've learned so much in this process about how I should be more purposeful in my purchasing, not wasteful with food, and think a little more before buying some things that I really don't need or won't need for a while. I'm proud to say that because of all of this, I've managed to pay off one of my cards, the rest of my sewing machine credit account, and most of my other card that has been pretty hard to tackle. Not only have I done all of these things, I've actually put some money into savings. Granted, all of this is also because I've picked up a few more jobs with photography, teaching, etc., but I feel that because I sacrificed these plastic luxuries, I've been able to be more money-conscious and be able to do things for my future and not just blow it all on frivolous things like more vintage fabric (God help me.) or some random trip to Europe. . . which will always tempt me, as you should know.


I'm tired.

.:I'm wearing my footsteps into this floor. Someday I won't live here anymore:.

.:And someone will wonder who lived here before and went on their way:.

Patty Griffin. I love you. You know exactly what to say and when to say it.

Mom came this week to help me find a new place to live. It came down to 2 places, and it was one of the hardest decisions we have made in a very long time. I was a nervous wreck about everything - EVERYTHING - until we made a decision. I was nervous about things I've never been nervous about before.

The fact about everything is that I'm growing up. It scares me a little bit, but only because I hate that responsibility that seems to weigh so much, but I have to deal with it. I wish that some things didn't come with such weight, honestly, like finding a place to live. I don't want to make a huge mistake and there are so many factors that contribute to that decision that I didn't know what to choose over the other. Basically, it came down to a financial decision. It's a good decision, especially now, but I just hope that down the road, in a year or 2, that I can take the opportunities I encounter and not suffer for it. That's the goal. We'll see how it goes.

Another good thing that came from this visit is that my mother and I see a little more eye-to-eye now, and that is refreshing. She questioned her ability as a mother when I told her where I wanted to live and I didn't understand that or explain myself until we were crying at the lunch table. Then, she questioned her ability as a provider (in many ways) and I didn't really understand that either until we were crying at the dinner table. It has been quite an emotional week for us, but her plane is taking off right now, and I know she's happy with me and my decisions. I can't ask for more than that right now. She's a really great mother. I hope I can be even half the woman she has been to me one day.

I truly love the woman who gave me life.