Sunday, August 16, 2009

.:May you. . . give all your heart and still have too much:.

This week, I got a nosebleed. Here's how it happened.

My brother is soon to be married - we know this already. What we may or may not know from this knowledge is the fact that my family is kind of being crazy about it (read: previous post on wedding insanity for some reference). As of right this moment, things have calmed down, and for that, I could not be happier. Perhaps the reason why I got to hear about everything is the simple fact that I am so far removed from everyone in terms of proximity and I'm the only single person in my family. (This realization did not happen just now, but the impact of it is a little bigger than I expected just now.)

[Let me note this: I love to be there for people. I love to help people figure out their issues when they come to me provided it isn't completely ridiculous and/or something I cannot really do anything about. I am especially this accepting and helpful when it comes to those who have the reigns on my heart, such as family and close friends and random strangers on occasion (see: homeless people, random hippie couch-surfers).]

For a while, I was being inundated with calls from my family about wedding drama that mostly had nothing to do with me. I heard about it from a few family members and it was really ridiculous and overwhelming for me, more so than I realized. I'm glad that they love me and we could vent, but why all of this nonsense over ONE DAY?! Anyway, about this same time, I've been stressing a bit over what to do about the fashion show I plan to have very soon, money (rather, lack thereof), and assisting my friends here the best way I can with encouragement, shelter, transportation, office supplies, moral support, etc. I was also hosting a discussion group meeting at my house that night, so I was trying to get the place ready and figure out what to cook for a potluck from my very tiny amount of food. I was ok with everything, and handling all of it very, very (uncharacteristically) calmly.

There I was, after a long day of doing the best I can for everyone (and happily so, this is not a complaint), sewing in my studio room with my dear friend Heather on the computer at my side. I was trying really hard to make the new dress top for the wedding dress I'm making, and the fit was the part I was the most concerned with. It was coming down to the wire and I was having trouble figuring out how to finish it around the armhole. Then, out of nowhere, my nose starts bleeding. I think my world came to a crash for a second as I thought it may get on the muslin and I started freaking out. Thankfully, Heather knew what to do, came to my rescue with her advice, and ordered me to lie on the ground for a stress massage to the face/head (totally worth the nosebleed, by the way).

I think this moment changed my life. I wish I were kidding. Since that moment, my stress level has been at a very low. My new motto is: Life is too short for nosebleeds. It's true. I guess I associate nosebleeds with brain trauma, but it is something to think about. I never, ever get them, and when I hear about them, it is because something is seriously wrong with the brain due to some sort of force. Granted, I know this isn't a serious condition for me, but at the same time, it is completely unnecessary nonetheless. I bottled up all of my stress by trying to not flip my lid about all of the demands that life was temporarily putting on me over a handful of days/weeks and it came out of my brain through my nose and thankfully not on to a mock-up garment. All of this to say, I'm glad it's over and I have learned that saying No is more important sometimes than your body responding in such a way that could temporarily put a halt to your career. That's just silly.