I really don't mind that a lot of my life is public. My parents don't understand the whole blogging/Facebook thing, and I catch a lot of slack for it. As long as I don't divulge too much personal stuff, I think I'm pretty safe.
So, I had a crazy moment not too long ago. It's safe to say that Thanksgiving to mid-December was about the time I was very out of control. It's interesting how emotional situations combined with holiday festivities [Read: FOOD!] and the busy time that this time of year brings can just knock you off your rocker if you allow it to. I took the trip to my home in Georgia to straighten myself out, or "reprogram" myself, as my Aunt Kathie said. It is always good for me to surround myself with those who know and love me best. They remind me of where I came from, the dreams I once had and yearned to accomplish, and who I am in their eyes - which is held to some pretty high standards, but not ones I cannot meet or even exceed.
During a time where so many people are creating resolutions for the year ahead of them, I chose to make lifestyle changes that would carry on much past 365 days. I feel like I've been entrusted with this personality and this magnetism that somehow inspires people, and I don't know why, but I need to make it work the way it's supposed to and quit hiding behind things. I've been a mover and a shaker my entire life, and I've allowed myself to get caught up on some very small things, and for what? It just makes matters worse when I do. So, how about we stop? Fine. I gave up on that in order to work harder and be the best me.
I just want to give the world my best, and I believe it's ok to fall short of that, to allow myself to fall short of that, but there has to be a time where you pick yourself up and get your ass in gear. I'm ready. I'm ready for good things. I've always said, "Opportunities: take 'em or make 'em!" and I'm trying again, again again again, to live by that. It's easy to forget. It's easy to be lazy or unmotivated or uninterested, but that's not me. To feel "entrusted" with something like the ability to change the world with vintage-inspired clothing or to bring more sunshine into the world is like owning a key - you have this gift that allows things to happen or open up, and because you are the one who keeps this special thing, you should not allow yourself to lose it but rather use it at the time when it is needed. That may be weird, but it's what my heart understands at the moment to keep my head in the clouds but my feet on the ground.
Happy 2010! I learned so much in 2009, so I'm pretty excited about what this year is going to teach me and, perhaps, teach all of us.