Sunday, March 20, 2011

.:Where is my mind, where is my mind, wheeeerrreeee is myyy mmmiiinnnddd:.

South by Southwest (aka SXSW) just happened. It didn't happen quite as drunkenly as it had for me in the past. In fact, I was sober the entire time. I actually drank nothing but water - with exception to the 3 Zico coconut waters, which are entirely delicious, by the way. In any case, I did feel quite energy-zapped by yesterday afternoon just from all of the walking around (I probably averaged a good 3 miles/day) and all of the awesome live music and crazy people everywhere. But even in all the craziness, I came to a few conclusions about myself and my life. Here goes...

1) I desperately want to write music again. I've been DYING [Repeat: DIE. ING.] to sing again for a long time. I think about it every day. So, I decided I will write again and try to play all of my songs on a sweet little ukulele. I'm currently searching for one as I type this. (Etsy rox.)

2) Speaking of writing music, I'm gonna write happy little love songs. And when I sing them, I'm gonna wear a cute, brightly colored dress. That's just how it's gonna be. Why? Because I'm a happy person. And that's what happy people do. Ok, not all happy people wear cute dresses and sing silly love songs while playing a ukulele, but it seems appropriate. At least, for me it does.

3) I'm going to wear ridiculously awesome dresses. I'm kind of going to give myself a makeover, essentially. I make my own dresses, so I have the capacity to re-create what I do. Not that I don't have awesome dresses now, I just think I've been playing it safe lately. I need to throw myself into myself, right? So, why not throw out all of the safety regulations with that?! That's totally me! And I love me! YAY!

4) I'm gonna learn Spanish. End of story. (And I'm gonna be really awesome at speaking it, too.)

5) I'm going to get that super sweet car wrap I've been dreaming about for a while. It's going to happen in the next year. No one can stop me.

6) Photography is another huge passion of mine. I'm gonna do more of that. I'll have more shows. And I will not care (or try not to if I do) if things don't sell - because honestly, I don't do it for the money. I do it for the love of art and self-expression. I should express myself more.

All of these things - these numbers above - are mere attempts of me just being me. I get ideas and I want to explore them. I haven't done this as much lately because I've really thrown myself into work - as I should, of course, since it's a rad ass business that is picking up - but I've made the decision to do what I really want to do as well. I don't care if I can't find a minute of sleep. If I live my life the way I think I should live it, I'll die one day the happiest lady ever. With happy love songs on her ukulele. And bright colors everywhere. I want to delve into my life because, let's face it, it's my life! My life is great and I love it so, so much, so why wouldn't I want to get deeper into it? What do I have to lose? I have no one but me to contend with, at least, for now, so I'm gonna make me happy, and hopefully, that will make others happy. I've concentrated so hard on the outward expression - which, don't get me wrong, is a beautiful, beautiful way to live life - but I've been wondering what the missing link is, and I think it's me. I need to foster my relationship within myself. That sounds so selfish, but I truly, deeply believe that if I do, then it will probably have some sort of effect on the happiness of others. After all, laughter is contagious, right?

I wanna laugh - all. the. live. long. day.


1 comment:

Heather Johnson said...

You will do these things. I have no doubt.