Tuesday, July 28, 2009

.:Irene, goodnight:.

My brother Reid, the one who is getting married in September, called me last night while I was out at a coffee shop with Gina and some others. He kept calling and texting, so I had to step out to talk to him. I'm very glad that I did. Within the first 5 minutes, I had a river leaping from my eyes.

He called because he wanted me to help him write a song for his wedding. Just the thought of it was enough to drive me to tears, but then he went on about how it's about how he misses her when she's gone so much that he sleeps on her pillow because it smells like her. I'm tearing up just writing about it. My brother doesn't express these kinds of things, and it doesn't matter that he had been drinking when he called (it probably took the edge off so he could call me and talk about it - he's just not that way), so it was touching to hear him say such sweet, real things about the woman he's about to spend the rest of his life with. I'm more than happy that he has this person because they deserve each other. They are so in love. It's so beautiful.

I talked to him for a little bit and semi-secretly bawled my eyes out while people kept passing by the door where I was standing. When I was hanging up, he said, "Well, call me tomorrow. I need you. Well, I always need you, but I feel like in this moment, I really need you." Cue the waterworks again! We've always been a close family, but Reid and I had a rough part for a few years. We got closer when he moved to Athens and I would occasionally come visit. We've been really close ever since, and it's been close to 8 years. He was my best friend for a while, even though I know it was difficult for him, but he was still there. Now he wants me to help him write a song for his wedding day and I'm losing it already. He said he needs me. I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before on the phone, where I could hear it and hear the emotion that goes along with it. It wasn't like he was crying, but the way he said it. . . I just want to be there for everything.

During my Junior year of college, I was going through the hardest time because things just weren't going my way (Nathan died that year, I lost some friends for a little bit, some past occurrences were resurfacing, etc.). I felt like my family was the only thing that was keeping me from coming completely unglued. I got a Christmas card from Reid that I've kept because it said that he knows things haven't been going my way the past few months, but that I should stay in there because I'm very much apart of our family and that I have everyone behind me. I never would have expected that from him, but he reveals that side of him when I least expect it and most need it.

Family: It blows my mind. It kindles my heart.

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