Monday, July 6, 2009

.:She's just a girl who thinks that I am the one:.

Airplanes take my breath away. They take me up, high above the trees, where people normally should not go. They're daring. Graceful. Inspirational, at least, to me. I treasure the moments I am allowed when one can hear nothing but the hum of the engine, the blowing of the air conditioning, and nothing else. It is in those moments when I am able to figure out some of my soul-gnawing contemplations. Here's a little bit of what I came up with on my flight back to my wonderful city.

I have this feeling that no one takes me seriously. Of course, to say "no one" would be a stretch, but it seems that the vast majority of those I encounter (i.e. family, more-than-acquaintances) fail to actually pay attention to what I am trying to say or do. Here, I'm not worrying about what they think. Don't let that be confused with what I am really after. I could care less what one thinks about me. I just realized that maybe I haven't given anyone a reason to take me seriously. I talk a big game. I have huge dreams that have yet to be accomplished, some haven't even gotten the first step. So, in turn, I suppose I have a few goals for myself in light of what I figured out.

Goal 1: Fashion show. Seems easy on the surface because you see them all the time, but for someone who has no job, it is going to take some craftiness and many long, hard hours of hard work. Every minute needs to count. August 28th is the date.

Goal 2: Learn Thai. I've said for 4 years I wanted to learn Thai. So, I'm going to do it. Rosetta Stone, here I come.

Goal 3: Write music, make album. I live in Austin, Texas, for crying out loud! Why am I not making use of my talent? No more procrastination. Time to do it, and do it right.

Goal 4: Be healthy. This is probably the hardest of all because everything else is somewhat tangible. I just need to be faithful and look toward the future, not at how I dread sweating (especially in the wonderful Texas heat), and here again, make every minute count. After the MJ party at Courtney's, I'm going to do a Master Cleanse for a few days to get everything out and start over. Plus, it's good to do that when you can.

Goal 5: Stop swearing. . . as much. Yes, my friends, the time has come. I drop f-bombs like no one has ever seen or heard. I enjoy it, even as twisted as that sounds. So, my language needs to grow up a bit so that I can, even though somewhat reluctantly, because I feel that it's necessary. There are 2 babies in my life who don't need to hear those words just yet. I want to preserve their sweet ears and hearts just a tiny bit, if I can. This will be difficult, but I'm willing to let it go.

I should probably have a timeline for these things, but I hope to accomplish 4 of 5 by my brother's wedding in September. I may post a few more goals in the meantime, but I'm hoping that those who may read this will hold me up to it. As my mom would say, "1-2-3-GO!"

My mom is soooo cute!

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