Friday, July 24, 2009

.:Double your pleasure, double your fun, forever on the dancefloor:.

I discovered this amazing video using Digg the other night and immediately posted it on my Facebook. You can view it here. I highly suggest that you do because that would explain everything I am about to say.

The ending makes me want to cry, and I know of several who have told me they have cried (including men), because it is the perfect depiction of how this kind of ceremony should be. If you look at her face and the way she moves, you know that she is the happiest girl in the world, and she couldn't be more excited to share her life with the very tall, handsome man who did a front roll down the aisle before she boogied her way down it herself. It was touching, and so much, at least to me, that I've watched it a few times a day to help remind me what to look forward to. That, and it did not appear to me that they spent gobs of money to have this occasion. That's quite refreshing as well!

There are 2 very close family members of mine who are getting married very soon: my brother Reid and my cousin Audrey. I am so excited for them! I get this giggly feeling sometimes when I think about how they have these wonderful people to share their lives with, and I cannot wait to be there for both of them. Audrey's betrothed insisted (repeat: INSISTED) that I sing in the wedding, and at this point it almost wouldn't matter if he was a bad guy, he's totally a keeper in my book! (Insert large grin here.) Interestingly, my dad helped Audrey plan a lot of her wedding, so I thought that was kind of cool. He knows a lot of stuff about this kind of thing as does my mom. We've been to a LOT and planned one of the biggest anyone in my family/hometown has ever seen, so they're kind of experts.

In all of this, though, I cannot help but wonder about my own. But why should I? I'm single - very, very single - and very much loving it at the moment. I'm 23, which I feel is definitely not the right age for me to marry. (I feel like I have just become an adult, so don't push me over the edge here.) I don't have stable employment. I have health issues. I have money on credit cards that I'm not sure will be paid off for a very long time. All of these factors add up for me, and although people get married all the time despite such entanglements, I think it's a healthy state of mind for me at this point. But why am I even thinking about it?

I think our culture is obsessed with weddings. My friends and I talk about this a lot, but I wonder if other people have noticed the nuptial sickness that somewhat defines our super American mindset so much that it is now an industry. An industry, really? It makes a lifetime commitment into a manufactured possession. Just name your price. Is that the way we really want it? When my parents got married in 1972, they had a cake and some nuts and some friends/family show up. That was it. They've always said, "And we're just as married!" And have been for over 37 years. Honestly, when I've seen some couples have this huge ordeal that costs more than a year's wage for average workers, I wonder if they will think back on that day and say, "And we're just as married!" or wonder where the magic went. I have seen some who haven't made it to their 5th anniversary. It makes me wonder what they were vested in in the first place.

So, why all the hype? Why does our culture insist on such a production for this one day? Our obsession lies in the wedding, so are we less concerned about the marriage? Maybe we should shift our focus and investment from this one day - nay, few hours - of our lives to the future of our relationships. May they be healthy and vibrant and alive! But more so, may they be humbled and grateful to simply have one another - forever.

1 comment:

Casey Smith said...

I will never regret eloping. I wish I had got a few more wedding gifts, but at the end of the day a private ceremony "to make what was from the beginning legal" was what worked for us. I love that your parents had "a cake and some peanuts." We ate at a Chinese Buffet for our wedding dinner and I laughed that the sugar coated peanuts were our wedding peanuts. I hope we'll keep it alive as much as your parents do. They're still my heroes.